Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Bravo to Million Dollar Listing

Tonight was the premiere of Bravo's latest reality show Million Dollar Listing, focusing on the luxury real estate market around Los Angeles. The show was very very like totally omigod L.A., from the yellow Hummer to the horrible plastic surgeried blond agent to the enormous fake boobed client to the douchebag in a BMW. Guess which this one is:
Do not let that bitch on plane! Those are potential weapons. Seriously. Million Dollar Listing's first episode focused solely on 3 agents, including Scotty Brown (below) whose taste in hats is as off as his client's taste in vehicles. Scotty Brown apparently always uses both his names for some strange reason.
Million Dollar Listing showcased two for sale houses and two inept salespeople- brokers, whatever. Scotty Brown for all his lack of style, was at least competent- a competent douche yes- but he knew the game and schooled 24 year old Madison Hildebrand, who "discovered real estate when he calculated the commission for the sale of his parents Malibu investment property", by basically stealing half Madison's commission by representing someone who was previously Madison's client. But hey, at least Madison sold his house in the end (although the only reason he had the listing in the first place was through a friend). Way to go rookie. Here Scotty Brown gives Madison the secret real estate listing handshake:
The other less successful agent was Shannon McLeod (aka bad plastic surgery agent). In her inept attempt to sell her ex-fiance's Beverly Hills house, with decor that just screamed out "I'm not your fiancee anymore because I cheated on you with Kid Rock's leftovers". In fact, big boobed lady above thought his bedroom would be a great place to film some things. You know, like educational videos for kids I guess.

Shannon failed to put her first open house in the paper and then proceeded to get wasted on a bottle of champagne. Her next open house involved her mostly sitting around until a strapping young man came in to view the house, at which point all sorts of bells must have been ringing in her head (and not just cause she was drunk again), thinking that not only could she score a deal for her ex-fiance's house but perhaps a date too. Finally a buyer was found but Shannon failed to seal the deal when ex-fiancee (below- note picture does not do her plastic surgery trainwreck face justice)
refused to have minor corrections done on the house to sell it- like fix the outlet covers or fix the fence around the pool. Since genius Shannon was representing both buyer and sell, legal in California but not most other states says the friendly yet perky Bravo onscreen blurb, she stood to make $114,000 from this sale. With both parties at a standstill, she should have just paid for the fixes out of her commission and taken home a cool 100g. Instead she got nothing but drunk- toasting to ex-fiancee after he took the house off the market. Classy.

In summary, Los Angeles is nuts, I don't know how anyone can live there and the only way to get a real estate listing is to know someone. Bravo's six part Million Dollar Listing series looks pretty good so far but only if the remaining agents who haven't been shown can live up to the douchebaggedness of the first three. And enough with the limited series Bravo, convince NBC to give you some of that Earl money to put on a full 13 episode series with long story arcs.

category: tv real estate on a summer's eve