Mike Gordon squashes Phish reunion rumors
In breaking news today, the stock market has reacted quickly to Mike "Cactus" Gordon's squashing the rumors of any Phish reunion on the HL (audio linked above). The patchouli stock index has plummeted down 3%. Samuel Smith Brewery has announced they are cutting production back to hiatus levels in anticipation of lower demand this fall. Soap stocks are however, up 5%. In his message, Mike also thanks the fans and apologizes for feeding the rumors. This is the type of hard-hitting breaking journalism that you won't find on CNN kidz. Stay tuned as this story develops. Scrimshaw!
Update- check out Phiction's hilarious interpretation of the message here.