Monday, October 23, 2006

Open Letter to Parents- Re: Halloween

Dear parents of the Upper East Side and other parts of Earth,

Halloween is a one day holiday. It occurs on October 31st every year. It is commonly accepted to put out pumpkins and other decorations in the weeks preceding the holiday, much as you would hang up your Christmas decorations in early December. However, the celebration of the actual holiday only takes place on one day, October 31st.

In recent years, it has become allowable to extend the Halloween holiday to the weekend before October 31st. In the current year's calendar, the weekend before (acceptable celebration time) falls on the 28th and 29th. This past weekend was the 21st and 22nd- completely inappropriate celebration times.

So why do I see tons of little kids (and parents) dressed up and parading around 10 days before Oct 31? Do you know how ridiculous you look? Parents, why have you extended the holiday?- would you open up your Christmas gifts on December 16th? I'm thinking of celebrating New Years on the 21st this year. I heard July 4th is rescheduled for June 28th next year, so it fits in with your weekend calendar.

Let's keep Halloween where it belongs, Oct 31st. A little anticipation never hurt any kid. If I get any trick or treaters before the 31st, you can be damn well sure they will receive pennies or raisins from me. And not little boxes of raisins-ziplock baggies with the number of raisins meticulously counted out.

Keeping the holidays in check