American Idol Rundown

American Idol is hot hot hot this year. Here's the rundown on who's left and how bad they suck:

• Ace Young: Blech! This guy is just a good looking Daniel Beddingfield (wait is DB good looking? no idea really). Ace's voice is ok and he can definitely move but he's dull- no personality. He does have a great falsetto though.
  

• Bucky Covington: Bucky's a lovable redneck but he's not as dumb as he comes off. He's made some excellent song choices and is fun to watch even if his voice isn't all that. He sang Superstition tonight and it was pretty hot. Then again, anyone could sing it and make it hot. He's no Bo Bice.
  

• Chris Daughtry: This dude is awesome! He makes insanely good song choices- best in the competition. Song choice is huge. Dead or Alive, In my Hands, Higher Ground...Chris Daughtry may take it all home this year. How could you not like those sideburns? He must be drawing some sort of vocal power from them.
  

• Elliott Yamin: How is Elliott Yamin still in the competition? He lisps his way through the songs but the judges lap it up. Mediocre performances at best. Won't last much longer.

• Katharine McPhee: Sorry but I haven't exactly caught the McPhever. After I hear Katharine sing I have a McHeadache. Wearing sexy outfits is helping her but she will not last much longer; talent stays. I don't get what the big deal is.
  

• Kellie Pickler: Kellie Pickler is decent but she's really only good in that one southern rock chick etheridge style. Not enough range of styles. However she is the blondest person left in the competition and her name sounds like pickle so that should help her get votes.
  

• Kevin Covais: The 11 year old stud from Long Island! The kid's got personality and a voice but looks redonculous singing love songs. He could probably rock on a Disney show or something. Kevin Covais is basically a joke but with a good voice. At some point the competition has to get serious and he's gone.
  

• Lisa Tucker: This girl has an amazing stage presence. Much like Constantine last year, her musicals experience helps her immensely. She exudes confidence and has the voice to back it up. Lisa Tucker is a serious talent but her major downfall may be her relative blandness. It's not that she's bland but her voice and style just don't stand out from the pack.

• Mandisa: Holy cow does Mandisa have a set of pipes. Mandisa (love the one word name btw) is a force in this competition. She makes really good song choices and brings major league energy to the stage. She's a virtual guarantee to be top 5. Her voice is just a powerhouse. Plus over 50% of America is overweight and all have to be pulling for a chunky Idol winner.
  

• Melissa McGhee: She shows off the silicone well. Her voice is good not great but she's always smiling (and showing off the knockers). She will get the horny male vote for a while but it will eventually be outnumbered by talent votes. I'm predicting lots of appearances at Heffner's place in the near future.
  

• Paris Bennett: Top 3 for sure. She's super cute and can belt out the tunes. Her speaking voice is so different from her singing voice which makes her even more interesting. She picks some good songs and is very solid.
  

• Taylor Hicks: Taylor Hicks rocks. He clearly has some sort of mental/nervous/cocker/compulsive thing going on but he is always entertaining. You can tell he loves to perform and he makes excellent song choices. Top 5 easily unless he's institutionalized before then.
  

My prediction for the top 5: Paris Bennett, Taylor Hicks, Mandisa, Chris Daughtry, Lisa Tucker.
Top 3: Paris Bennett, Mandisa, Chris Daughtry.
Winner: Mandisa!!!

Mandisa wins American Idol. You heard it hear 1st. Finally- I'm rating the judges too:

• Randy Jackson-You're blazing hot this year dawg! I didn't think you were going to be able to pull it off but you did. Wait check it out check it out. Your performance this year is off the charts. Dog pound?!

• Paula Abdul- You're doing what you do best. You know who you are. And you're just great. I love you and the whole world loves you.

• Simon Cowell- You know when your mum buys you a new pair of knickers and tries to iron out the crease but it just won't iron out? That's how I feel about you this year Simon. Just appalling. I'm shocked. It's like I'm not even watching the same show.

• Ryan Seacrest- Total crap job this year Seacrest; without your signature "Seacrest Out" catchphrase you degrade American Idol because without it you're not a superhost but just a regular dude with professionally tweezed eyebrows and gel in his hair.

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